Friday, April 13, 2007


Did I quit blogging? No

Sorry folks, I have been having a bit of a craptastic time lately. Not only in my knitting, but also in my personal and not so personal life. If it could go wrong it has. Heck it it couldn't go wrong it went wrong.

Computer is on the freaking fritz again! I am only able to run in safe mode so it has to go back to the shop again. UGH!!!

I haven't been to a Monday night knit night in over a month and it doesn't look promising for any in the near future. Kevin has picked up a second job. You would think that I would be happy that we will have more money, but I am quite upset by the hole thing. I feel terrible that he wants to work another job so that we will have mad money and we can do the things that we want to, to the house. I just wish I could pull in money, but staying at home with the kid doesn't seem to pay with cash flow. He will be working evenings at the second job, so I won't see him at night or have him next to me sleeping until the weekend. I will get to see him in-between jobs, but that still isn't the same as having him here at night with me. I know it will all work out and he is only part time, but it is going to be a hard transition that is for sure. Looks like a Sunday here and there a month might be my new Monday nights (hint Susan).

I haven't been doing much in the way of my knitting either. I have been working on a pair of socks for my cousin that seem to be never ending. I do a few rows then put them down to do something else. I just can't seem to knit on them for any length of time and I don't feel like starting another project. So I am slowly chugging along on the socks.

This past Tuesday my Mom called me in tears. Her 10 year old Golden Retriever has cancer. She wanted to know if I could take them to an Oncologist on Wednesday to have her checked out. With where the Oncologist was and my Mom's state of mind I knew she wouldn't be able to drive it. I called my MIL to see if she could watch James and she so graciously came to help. Wednesday came and it was a nasty rainy gloomy day. I was hoping and praying for good news, but all the news that she could give us was bad. It wasn't just bad it was horribly bad. We were told that if they did surgery and the dog lived through the surgery that it would only give her 3 months at the most to live. My Mom was a complete wreck and I was trying to be strong for her. We were told that the cancer had attached to blood vessels and that she was bleeding internally, it isn't painful to her, but one day Mom would find her dead and it wouldn't be long. With my Mom living alone since my Dad passed she said that she couldn't handle coming home from work or waking up one morning finding her dog dead. So she made the terribly hard decision to have her put to sleep. I had to call and make all the arrangements with our normal vet. Sadly we made an appointment that evening at 3:30. So I called my MIL and told her what was going on and she said that she could stay as long as I needed her to. So I stayed with my Mom since I was going to have to be the one that drove them to the vet. From 11 am to 3 pm the poor dog had gotten much worse. Her bark was really weak and she didn't move much at all. I would have been very surprised if she would have made it through the night. At 3:15 we reluctantly got into the car to head to the vet. I felt extremely sick to my stomach, all my muscles were tight and I just really didn't want to have to do this, but I knew that it was the right thing to do for my Mom and the dog. My Mom said her tearful goodbyes and I led the dog back. My Mom didn't want to go back because she didn't think that she could handle it, but she didn't want her to die alone. So I told her that I would do it. Not that I really wanted to, but I wanted the dog to be as relaxed as possible and I wanted my Mom to feel better knowing that someone was there with her. It was actually very peaceful. Not saying that I was happy about it or enjoyed it, but I am glad that she went peaceful and didn't have to suffer. I had tears streaming down my face the entire time, but I am glad that I was there for the dog. I stroked her head and talked to her the entire time until the vet said that she was gone. It has been so hard these past few days knowing that I was the one that drove them to the vet and took the dog back. I am an animal lover and to have to do something like that just kills me. My heart is still breaking and I am sure that it will for some time to come.

James has been sick for the past week now. He has the lovely running like a faucet nose, watery eyes, sneezing, coughing and all those fun things. So I have been trying to get him better too.

I need some sort of calming day or something. Man do I need that spinning wheel.

I promise you all that I am trying to catch up on reading all your posts. I have over 100 to go through and I am not sure how long the computer will decide to keep running for me. So I want you all to know that I am thinking of you and I wish that this would have been a happier post. Hopefully I can get down to the computer repair shop and get this thing fixed then I will have some pictures to share with you.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Easter and a good Friday the 13th.

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